Phone woes

I have a really flash mobile phone - bit like a Blackberry, but better looking and with more 'stuff' on it. Pretty much like a mini PC. Now, I wouldn't choose a phone like this, but work pay for it and that arrangement suits me fine.

The problem is - it's shit. Because it runs so much software it crashes all the time, and I'm a bit fed up with that. But my face lit up with amusement yesterday when I got the following error message:

"Your phone is currently switched off, would you like to turn it on?"

Now, I ain't fik or nuffink, but surely if my phone is providing me error messages, it must be switched on? What amuses me most is that at some point in the development of this phone, someone actually said "We need to provide an error message for when the phone is switched off and the user wants to switch it on. The phone will need to be ON when we display this message of course, but that shouldn't cause any confusion in the slightest".

Genius.

Sax - on the beach?

I remember when I used to watch Top of The Pops I was younger - say early teens perhaps - that there were certain instruments that were clearly way cooler than others.

The clear loser of these in those days, as it is now, was the keyboard/guitar thing that was so popular amongst many a coiffured pop band. The undoubted winner, and the one we all wanted to play, was the saxophone.

Sax was on loads of records - obvious smash hits as Baker Street and The Heat Is On - but also countless lesser known top 40 hits. There was a smattering of sax everywhere, and to have a sax player on the Pops was the ultimate kudos for a band.

But what now? We don't seem to use sax players any more, so where have all the sax players gone? Ok, so there's still 'horn sections', but it's not the same thing (and many are synthesied anyway).

The solitary sax solo seems to have drifted into pop obscurity, and I'm not here to campaign to bring it back. Good riddance I'd say.

Just my imagination?

How many times have we reminisced about 'the old days', particularly with regards to the declining size of our confectionery?

Only this morning, someone in the office was passing round the Penguins, and the first thing I found myself saying was "Is it just my imagination, or are these smaller than they used to be?" Up until now I have been fairly convinced that seeing as my hands have grown considerably since the age of 12, that all our sweets only look smaller, when they are actually the same size. But today, I have had a sudden, unexplained u-turn and convinced myself otherwise.

So I'm here to tell you that Penguins, Mars Bars, Curly Wurly, Monster Munch and Wagon Wheels are definitely smaller than when we were younger - it's all a big conspiracy.

And what happened to Pacers?

Time Wasting

I saw an ad on the tube yesterday, for some kind of little portable electronic game device thing, something along these lines:

"Did you know that the average person spends THREE YEARS of their life commuting? What a waste! In that time you could be feeding, raising and competing with your own virtual puppy!"

Yes, because that a far more valuable use of three years of my life.

Horse in the City?

Sarah Jessica Parker - man in drag or a horse? I just don't get why everyone raves about how 'beautiful' she is. She's an absolute munter.

And with that kind of money you'd think she could afford to get that Rice Krispie removed from her chin.