Blowin In The Wind

I saw a Jewish man on the train the other day, with his Kippah (skullcap) held on by a sort of hair clip. So how do bald Jewish men keep their skull caps on?

I Should Be So Lucky

Working in central London you tend to get accosted by all sorts of people - chuggers (from 'charity' and 'muggers') asking for your hard earned money, Eastern Europeans enticing you to lay £20 down in their version of three-card lucky lady, and occasionally gypsies.

These gypsy women (or at least women dressed as gypsies) hold out a piece of heather with the stalk wrapped in tinfoil and offer it to you, seemingly for free, as you walk past. "For luck", they say. How very kind, you think to yourself. However, if you are naiive enough to take a piece of 'lucky' heather, you are then asked to 'donate' some money - normally a couple of quid. To save the embarrassment of returning the heather to them, many people pay up.

My question is this: if the heather is so lucky, then why are these gypsies - who obviously have an abundance of the stuff - on the streets selling it to make a living? If I had a truck load of genuinely 'lucky' heather: a) I'd keep it all for myself, and b) I wouldn't have to sell it as I would have won the lottery several times over. Of course.

Automatic For The People

Saw a sign on a door the other day, and had to do a comedy double take.

"Automatic door. Push button to open."

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