Friday, 31 October 2008
Re: Brand
There's various signs you're getting old. Whether you tie bits of string round things like your dad used to, make a list of errands to do at the weekend, or prefer sitting down at gigs (or 'concerts' as you may be more likely to call them - and that's if you go at all.)
So, having turned 35 recently, I've been thinking that I'm getting old. Until this week when I was jolted back into my 20s for a few days. And it's all down to Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.
If you've been living in a cave for the last week, here's what happened: Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross called up actor Andrew Sachs for a phone interview, and he didn't answer. So they left a message on his phone, during which they divulged that Brand had slept with his granddaughter.
The backlash against these two has been on the scale of the Janet Jackson 'nipplegate' incident in the States a few years back, which in hindsight everyone agrees was a gross overreaction. What we have seen in recent days is Brand being pushed out of his job, and Jonathan Ross suspended for 3 months. It's not that I particularly care about these two, but I am in utter disbelief about the way the country has reacted to this. Here's my tuppence worth:
1) Over 20,000 complaints have allegedly been recieved about the incident. More than 90% of these after the show was taken off the BBC site - in which case I'd argue that the vast majority haven't actually heard the broadcast. I am one of the few who actually listened to the show and, really, it wasn't that bad.
2) Georgina Baillie (the granddaughter in question), has got a lot of publicity for herself, and her troupe of 'burlesque' dancers. Why? Because she has signed up Max Clifford, and he has made sure that this issue has been blown out of all proportion to get maximum exposure for his client. And it's working.
3) Brand's assertion that he slept with Georgina Baillie has since been verified - by Georgina Baillie herself. So her grandad found out. So what? If you sleep with Russell Brand, the whole world's going to find out.
So here I am wondering whether the whole country has gone mad, and feeling like a teenager to whom nothing seems particularly offensive. I should be calling for these two to be sacked, along with others of 'my age'. Instead I find myself lamenting the slow erosion of the Great British Sense of Humour. What a shame.
So, having turned 35 recently, I've been thinking that I'm getting old. Until this week when I was jolted back into my 20s for a few days. And it's all down to Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.
If you've been living in a cave for the last week, here's what happened: Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross called up actor Andrew Sachs for a phone interview, and he didn't answer. So they left a message on his phone, during which they divulged that Brand had slept with his granddaughter.
The backlash against these two has been on the scale of the Janet Jackson 'nipplegate' incident in the States a few years back, which in hindsight everyone agrees was a gross overreaction. What we have seen in recent days is Brand being pushed out of his job, and Jonathan Ross suspended for 3 months. It's not that I particularly care about these two, but I am in utter disbelief about the way the country has reacted to this. Here's my tuppence worth:
1) Over 20,000 complaints have allegedly been recieved about the incident. More than 90% of these after the show was taken off the BBC site - in which case I'd argue that the vast majority haven't actually heard the broadcast. I am one of the few who actually listened to the show and, really, it wasn't that bad.
2) Georgina Baillie (the granddaughter in question), has got a lot of publicity for herself, and her troupe of 'burlesque' dancers. Why? Because she has signed up Max Clifford, and he has made sure that this issue has been blown out of all proportion to get maximum exposure for his client. And it's working.
3) Brand's assertion that he slept with Georgina Baillie has since been verified - by Georgina Baillie herself. So her grandad found out. So what? If you sleep with Russell Brand, the whole world's going to find out.
So here I am wondering whether the whole country has gone mad, and feeling like a teenager to whom nothing seems particularly offensive. I should be calling for these two to be sacked, along with others of 'my age'. Instead I find myself lamenting the slow erosion of the Great British Sense of Humour. What a shame.
Something Afoot
I would never dismiss an alternative therapy on lack of evidence. For instance, I'd be more than willing to try acupuncture if I thought it might help in any way. Hypnotherapy is based on scientific evidence that the power if suggestion can have a profound effect on the unconscious mind, so I'd give that a go for sure. Reflexology, however, is another matter.
I suffered with a bit of shoulder ache recently - most likely from hours sitting at a desk all day and using a mouse - and a reflexologist was offering sessions in a room downstairs at work. As open-minded as I am, I thought it would be worth a go.
Reflexology is supposed to work on the principle that each part of your foot relates to a part of your body - so your big toe is your kidney, the heel of your foot is your heart, and your little toe is your ear-lobe. Or something along those lines.
The session consisted of the reflexologist prodding parts of my foot fairly hard until she found a 'sensitive spot', asking me all the while:
"Does this hurt?"
"No"
"What about this?
"No"
"This?"
"No"
This went on for a few minutes until she pressed on a bit of my foot particularly hard. "Ooh, yes" I said, "that' bit's sensitive just there".
"Ah, well, that's your liver"
"Really?"
"Yes - do you drink a lot?"
"No"
"What about your kidneys - any problems there?"
"No"
"Heart?"
"No"
"Breathlessness?"
"No"
"Back pain?"
"No"
"Shoulder pain?"
"Well, yes a bit actually"
"Hmm, I thought so."
By process of elimination and sheer determination she finally got to my complaint - and it's probably something that 80% of office workers suffer from.
Personally I'm not convinced, but at least it was quite a nice foot massage.
I suffered with a bit of shoulder ache recently - most likely from hours sitting at a desk all day and using a mouse - and a reflexologist was offering sessions in a room downstairs at work. As open-minded as I am, I thought it would be worth a go.
Reflexology is supposed to work on the principle that each part of your foot relates to a part of your body - so your big toe is your kidney, the heel of your foot is your heart, and your little toe is your ear-lobe. Or something along those lines.
The session consisted of the reflexologist prodding parts of my foot fairly hard until she found a 'sensitive spot', asking me all the while:
"Does this hurt?"
"No"
"What about this?
"No"
"This?"
"No"
This went on for a few minutes until she pressed on a bit of my foot particularly hard. "Ooh, yes" I said, "that' bit's sensitive just there".
"Ah, well, that's your liver"
"Really?"
"Yes - do you drink a lot?"
"No"
"What about your kidneys - any problems there?"
"No"
"Heart?"
"No"
"Breathlessness?"
"No"
"Back pain?"
"No"
"Shoulder pain?"
"Well, yes a bit actually"
"Hmm, I thought so."
By process of elimination and sheer determination she finally got to my complaint - and it's probably something that 80% of office workers suffer from.
Personally I'm not convinced, but at least it was quite a nice foot massage.
Wanna Be A Rock Star
A dream shared by many - myself included - is to become a rock star/pop star. For the more genuine among us, this is borne from a desire to show off your talent in front of as many people as possible, and not necessarily about fame and money. To go even deeper, there's some sort of connection that forms between musicians when playing together - it doesn't happen every time, but when it does it's as close to spiritual as you can get.
And so, with this in mind, we see the meteoric rise of the X-Box games such as Guitar Hero and now Rock Band. Instead of a guitar with strings you have four buttons you have to press in time with the music, and this gives you the sound of the chords. Sounds fairly straightforward, but the more complex arrangements demand hours, days, even months of practice to achieve the legendary status of Guitar Hero.
So my question is this. Why don't these kids invest all that time in learning to play real instruments?
And so, with this in mind, we see the meteoric rise of the X-Box games such as Guitar Hero and now Rock Band. Instead of a guitar with strings you have four buttons you have to press in time with the music, and this gives you the sound of the chords. Sounds fairly straightforward, but the more complex arrangements demand hours, days, even months of practice to achieve the legendary status of Guitar Hero.
So my question is this. Why don't these kids invest all that time in learning to play real instruments?
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Believe it or not
It seems to me that people don't question enough. Some people go through life blindly believing what they are told from any figure of perceived authority - whether that be an MP, your parents, or even some bloke down the pub.
Here's an example. We are told that we can't use mobile phones in petrol stations. So, generally we try to avoid doing so. Nevermind that there has been never been any proven link between mobile phones and setting petrol alight. It just so happened that once, when a petrol station exploded, some guy happened to be on the phone. That's it. Not particularly scientific. In fact, 'Brainiacs' proved that you've more chance of blowing up a petrol station from the spark from a nylon tracksuit - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnl4bK_veg0 . Now that's science.
One of my favourites is this one: "Did you know that every night when you're asleep, an average of three spiders drink from your mouth?" My first reaction would be to try and justify it in my head and make my own judgement. But many people's reaction is to blindly accept it as the truth. I'm not kidding - people actually believe this stuff.
Now, religion's a bigger subject than I can hope to tackle here, but I have to mention the lamest justification of the existence of God I ever heard, which was on a TV programme about child evangelists:
Reporter: "Why do you believe in God?"
Child: "Because it says so in the Bible"
Reporter: "And why do you believe the Bible?"
Child: "Because it's the word of God"
Genius.
Not that I can blame a child for believing his parents of course, but the scary thing was that this was how the parents were justifying it to themselves, with no apparent understanding of the term 'circular argument'.
My final word on this would be to follow the wise words of the Buddha (whose existence I can neither confirm or deny I'm afraid): "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
Of course, some people have neither reason nor common sense, which explains why they sleep with gaffer tape over their mouths at night.
Here's an example. We are told that we can't use mobile phones in petrol stations. So, generally we try to avoid doing so. Nevermind that there has been never been any proven link between mobile phones and setting petrol alight. It just so happened that once, when a petrol station exploded, some guy happened to be on the phone. That's it. Not particularly scientific. In fact, 'Brainiacs' proved that you've more chance of blowing up a petrol station from the spark from a nylon tracksuit - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnl4bK_veg0 . Now that's science.
One of my favourites is this one: "Did you know that every night when you're asleep, an average of three spiders drink from your mouth?" My first reaction would be to try and justify it in my head and make my own judgement. But many people's reaction is to blindly accept it as the truth. I'm not kidding - people actually believe this stuff.
Now, religion's a bigger subject than I can hope to tackle here, but I have to mention the lamest justification of the existence of God I ever heard, which was on a TV programme about child evangelists:
Reporter: "Why do you believe in God?"
Child: "Because it says so in the Bible"
Reporter: "And why do you believe the Bible?"
Child: "Because it's the word of God"
Genius.
Not that I can blame a child for believing his parents of course, but the scary thing was that this was how the parents were justifying it to themselves, with no apparent understanding of the term 'circular argument'.
My final word on this would be to follow the wise words of the Buddha (whose existence I can neither confirm or deny I'm afraid): "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
Of course, some people have neither reason nor common sense, which explains why they sleep with gaffer tape over their mouths at night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
