Oooh, a nice cuppa....

Picture the scene. It's early afternoon on hot summer's day - mid to high twenties - and you're a bit parched. You might have been doing a bit of gardening, been on a bike ride or just been sitting on the patio sunning yourself. Either way, you're now hot and very thirsty. So what springs to mind as refreshement when you're hot? Why, a hot cup of tea of course. Fool.

People who drink hot drinks on hot days to refresh themselves are lacking in all common sense. "Oh, well it feels so refreshing, and by warming your insides it makes your body go cold on the outside and......" blah blah. Nonsense. You drink hot drinks in the winter to warm yourself up, so where's your theory now? Hmm? Hmmm? The only thing I know that can turn something warm into something cold is a fridge, and humans are not equipped with that sort of technology. And not for another twenty years or so I'd say.

It's just habit, like when you've had a hard day at work or you're bored and can't think of what to eat. You just go for tea as a comfort drink. It happens a lot on Eastenders:

Pauline: Ooh, it looks like Arthur's had some sort of gardening accident, and speared his nuts on a rusty nail while trying to knock one out in the shed on the allotment. I think he's also been having an affair with that 17yr old boy from up the road and has probably got him pregnant.

Ian Beale: Tell you what Auntie Pauline - I'll make a cup of tea, and everything will be alright.


Do yourself a favour, and get a pint of icy cold lemon squash or a refrigerated beer down you, and give your tea addiction a rest.