Something we've seen a lot of over the last decade is self-important smugness of voters. " I voted, therefore only I am allowed to have any opinion on the current government/London Mayor/local candidate*" *delete as applicable.
I cannot believe that intelligent people - and I count politicians among them - still think it's correct to say "If you didn't vote, then you have no right to complain". This is categorically wrong.
It's a situation known as Morton's Fork - where you have a limited number of options, all of which have a similar, undesirable outcome. If you ask me which of my hands I want chopped off, the answer would be neither. If you ask me which political party to vote for, the answer would be none of them. My abstention is my vote.
Thursday, 22 May 2008
Terms and Conditions Apply
I listen to a fair bit of commercial radio - I think I'm too old to listen to ragga house on Radio 1, and I'm not quite ready to give up on new music altogether and listen to comedy on Radio 4 (although I very much look forward to this day in a funny sort of way).
So I listen to Virgin Radio, which seems to tick most of the boxes on my requirements list. However, as with any commercial radio station, you are bombarded with ads every 5 mins. Now, working in advertising myself, I can understand the need for this - I get to listen to good tunes and reasonable DJs for free. Nice.
Except it's gone too far. To make sure the message gets across, the same advertisements are repeated relentlessly until you can recite them all word for word. Even worse than this is that approximately 15 seconds of every 30 second advert tells me that 'terms and conditions apply, the offer is only available to residents of the UK, and your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it'. Can't we just all assume that this is the case for every advert? It would save us all a lot of time and repetition. I nearly gave myself RSI just typing it out.
That was going to be my point, but radio advertising has reached new lows. My friendly DJ was the other day doing a little fill about his favourite films from the 80s, and even getting people to text in with theirs. Pretty lame, but a nice trip down memory lane nonetheless, and I was sucked in. He then started telling us about how films these days just aren't up to scratch for the most part, except the one he got out last night on DVD which was absolutely brilliant - Ratatouille or something. Oooh, I thought, that sounds good, must get that out.
Now bear in mind that this whole charade had been going on for about 20 mins, and I had formed some sort of trust in this guy's opinion. Then, and only then, does he come out with the clanger. That they just happen to be doing a promotion for this DVD, and the bond of trust was nothing but a scam. I felt violated. I thought we were friends. But no, I'm just another monkey punter. So now when they tell me their funny stories, I'm always waiting for the advertorial - it's always there.
Finally, I have to tell you about Magners Cider, who have really outdone themselves. For this Bank Holiday, they have bought up every single advertising slot on Virgin Radio, and are not playing any of the ads. This means we all get to listen to more music right? Well, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But what we get now is a non-commercial from Magners telling us that the Bank Holiday is commercial free. Genius. Here's a punch in the face to show you I'm not going to punch you in the face.
So I listen to Virgin Radio, which seems to tick most of the boxes on my requirements list. However, as with any commercial radio station, you are bombarded with ads every 5 mins. Now, working in advertising myself, I can understand the need for this - I get to listen to good tunes and reasonable DJs for free. Nice.
Except it's gone too far. To make sure the message gets across, the same advertisements are repeated relentlessly until you can recite them all word for word. Even worse than this is that approximately 15 seconds of every 30 second advert tells me that 'terms and conditions apply, the offer is only available to residents of the UK, and your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it'. Can't we just all assume that this is the case for every advert? It would save us all a lot of time and repetition. I nearly gave myself RSI just typing it out.
That was going to be my point, but radio advertising has reached new lows. My friendly DJ was the other day doing a little fill about his favourite films from the 80s, and even getting people to text in with theirs. Pretty lame, but a nice trip down memory lane nonetheless, and I was sucked in. He then started telling us about how films these days just aren't up to scratch for the most part, except the one he got out last night on DVD which was absolutely brilliant - Ratatouille or something. Oooh, I thought, that sounds good, must get that out.
Now bear in mind that this whole charade had been going on for about 20 mins, and I had formed some sort of trust in this guy's opinion. Then, and only then, does he come out with the clanger. That they just happen to be doing a promotion for this DVD, and the bond of trust was nothing but a scam. I felt violated. I thought we were friends. But no, I'm just another monkey punter. So now when they tell me their funny stories, I'm always waiting for the advertorial - it's always there.
Finally, I have to tell you about Magners Cider, who have really outdone themselves. For this Bank Holiday, they have bought up every single advertising slot on Virgin Radio, and are not playing any of the ads. This means we all get to listen to more music right? Well, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But what we get now is a non-commercial from Magners telling us that the Bank Holiday is commercial free. Genius. Here's a punch in the face to show you I'm not going to punch you in the face.
Thursday, 15 May 2008
What's My Name Again?
There's one thing in particular that, for me, fuels an instant dislike of someone. A self-imposed nickname. Example:
"Hi, I'm Dobbo, nice to meet you."
"Excuse me? Gobbo?"
"Dobbo - my surname's Dobson, but everyone calls me Dobbo."
Well, not strictly true -people only call you Dobbo because you insist on introducing yourself as that, in an effort to make yourself sound more interesting. Most likely you're ashamed of being someone ordinary like Keith or Colin, and are well aware that your 'personality' is so weak that you need something to divert attention away from it.
The side effect of this is to impose non-names on other people. These days I can just about cope with being referred to as 'mate', but I cringe at 'pal', 'fella', 'big man', 'geezer' and especially 'son'. My parents probably thought long and hard about what name to give me - at least call me something derived from that, and not something a market trader would shout at me from across the street.
"Hi, I'm Dobbo, nice to meet you."
"Excuse me? Gobbo?"
"Dobbo - my surname's Dobson, but everyone calls me Dobbo."
Well, not strictly true -people only call you Dobbo because you insist on introducing yourself as that, in an effort to make yourself sound more interesting. Most likely you're ashamed of being someone ordinary like Keith or Colin, and are well aware that your 'personality' is so weak that you need something to divert attention away from it.
The side effect of this is to impose non-names on other people. These days I can just about cope with being referred to as 'mate', but I cringe at 'pal', 'fella', 'big man', 'geezer' and especially 'son'. My parents probably thought long and hard about what name to give me - at least call me something derived from that, and not something a market trader would shout at me from across the street.
Spice Of Life
I'm here to tell you now that it is totally unnecessary to use any of the following in cooking:
- bay leaves
- cardimon pods
- cloves
- 'tea bags' full of spices
I hate nothing more that munching on a tasty bowl of curry and then - *bleurrrgh* - crunching into a cardimon pod and having my taste buds violated by such an intense burst of bitterness. And are you really telling me you can taste the difference between a stew with a solitary bay leaf in it, and one without? I seriously doubt it.
If you must use any of this rubbish, surely all of these are available in powder form - or is it just because that's how Jamie and Gordon do it? Hmm, thought so.
- bay leaves
- cardimon pods
- cloves
- 'tea bags' full of spices
I hate nothing more that munching on a tasty bowl of curry and then - *bleurrrgh* - crunching into a cardimon pod and having my taste buds violated by such an intense burst of bitterness. And are you really telling me you can taste the difference between a stew with a solitary bay leaf in it, and one without? I seriously doubt it.
If you must use any of this rubbish, surely all of these are available in powder form - or is it just because that's how Jamie and Gordon do it? Hmm, thought so.
Strike Out
I'm always one to simplify things I don't understand, much to the frustration of the people involved in the issue at hand. However, I find the simplified version often makes a lot more sense. So please correct me if I'm wrong here.
I have an office job for which I don't have a 'union' representing me. If I don't like the way they treat me, my pay or any other aspect of my job I have two choices. Stay or leave.
Why then, do employees who are members of unions have a third option - strike? In my simplistic view of the world - you either put up or shut up. Vote with your feet - leave if you don't like it. Surely if you leave you are employable somewhere else, and if not, that's not your employer's fault is it? That's down to your career choice - and choice is something we all have.
I have an office job for which I don't have a 'union' representing me. If I don't like the way they treat me, my pay or any other aspect of my job I have two choices. Stay or leave.
Why then, do employees who are members of unions have a third option - strike? In my simplistic view of the world - you either put up or shut up. Vote with your feet - leave if you don't like it. Surely if you leave you are employable somewhere else, and if not, that's not your employer's fault is it? That's down to your career choice - and choice is something we all have.
The Bangles
I have an issue with - among many other songwriters - The Bangles. The crime here is sacrificing common sense for the sake of a rhyming lyric. See if you can spot the error:
"Just another manic Monday, wish it was Sunday, cos that's my funday."
Surely she'd better off wishing it was Friday night, then she'd have the whole of Saturday and Sunday to look forward to before her dreaded Monday? Of course not, because 'Friday night' doesn't rhyme with 'Monday' and 'funday'.
"Just another manic Monday, wish it was Sunday, cos that's my funday."
Surely she'd better off wishing it was Friday night, then she'd have the whole of Saturday and Sunday to look forward to before her dreaded Monday? Of course not, because 'Friday night' doesn't rhyme with 'Monday' and 'funday'.
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