Tricky

I was in WHSmith the other day for the first time in about 5 years - I honestly can't remember why, and I'm sure I won't be back for another 5 years. Anyway, I spotted a copy if the Guinness Book of World Records on the shelf, and found a quick flick through its pages absolutely irresistible.

Now, I admire most record breakers. I will never run 100 metres in less than 20 seconds, never mind under 10 seconds. Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I actually ran 100 metres at all. Records like that deserve recognition.

On the other hand, there are the 'record breakers' who take it upon themselves to complete some pointless task just for the sake of 'having a world record'. For the most part, there is no existing record for some of these achievements, presumably because no-one has been either dull or stupid enough to devote that much time to them.

In flicking through the book, the one that stood out for me was the record for the longest fingernails. Lee Redmond from the good ole USA has not cut her fingernails since 1979, and they have now grown to the near unbelievable length of 8.65m.

Now, it's clear to you and me that keeping them clean, stopping them from breaking and generally having a huge weight on your hands is not practical for everyday living - but this woman is clearly a nutjob (see pic), so we can sort of understand that she forsakes a normal life in order to get her name printed in a book.

But these inconveniences aren't the first things that sprung to my mind - and I'm sure you're thinking along the same lines as me. Yes, the very first thing I thought when looking at the picture was "How on earth does she wipe her arse?".