Billy Crap-iott

I like Grease - it's got some great songs, it's a bit cheesy, and it's an all round classic. What I would have though of it when it first came out, I honestly can't say. But I've grown up with it and it seems natural that people are singing songs all the time.

What I can't stand is the contrived song-writing of today's West End musicals. Something like 85% of all shows currently running in the West End are musicals. Why? What happened to a good old fashioned play with real acting? Why all the cheesy smiles, jazz hands and dull, formulaic choreography.

I went to see Billy Elliott a couple of years ago. I may be traumatised by the experience, so forgive me if I am remembering this incorrectly, but I'm sure there's a song in there about coal mining. For the love of god why? Where does it stop - will we soon have a song about walking up the stairs, doing the washing up, or taking a shit? Actually, the last one would be quite entertaining thinking about it.